sylviedevereux | this is all totally normal [closed

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this is all totally normal [closed - coop]

Since arriving in this town, Sylvie has gone to a lot of trouble to stay out of people's affairs. At first it had just been giving Coop his space, but the longer she's been here, the more she kind of feels like she doesn't fit, like she needs to give people a wide berth. She doesn't know whether it's because she knows word has gotten around about her previous relationship, or whether it's about how she spent a lot of time shooting and stealing from people recently, or whether she's just being ridiculous, but she hasn't exactly made a lot of friends.

Which is why, despite how bizarre it still is to her, Raleigh means a lot to her. Despite all the nonsense with Coop, Raleigh had gone out of her way to befriend her, even while some people would call them romantic rivals. Raleigh's the kind of person who's just like that, the kind of person who will stop at nothing to make sure anyone and everyone is happy and comfortable and has someone there for them. So, when Sylvie had seen Raleigh boot a young girl onto the street, throwing harsh words at her back, she knows something wrong. She doesn't have to have known Raleigh forever to know that this isn't right, that something's going on, and she has enough experience with magic and this town to know it's probably not just Raleigh having a bad week.

The whole magic thing still sends shivers down her spine. She doesn't like thinking about it, and she definitely doesn't like touching it, but something weird is going on with her friend, so she goes to the only person who will understand everything. Why she can't talk about the potential of magic interference with Raleigh, why she cares in the first place. For once, this isn't about their sordid damn history, so she knocks on Coop's door.

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It's beautiful out here, and for a moment she can almost believe they're back in Paris, like she's gone back four years. Or maybe she can pretend that this is how their life would have turned out, coming back to Siren Cove together instead of apart, settling in here. She'll drive herself crazy if she thinks about it though, so she makes a conscious effort to stop.

More bad things have happened to people here, she doesn't know why she's surprised anymore. The offer is tempting, but she doesn't know Joel, and even with Coop's endorsement, she doesn't know if she's 100% comfortable with it. "That seems like a lot to ask," she says instead, reaching for her own slice.

"Who's asking?"

Coop studies her as she eats, though he doesn't have to search very hard to figure out that she's not exactly bouncing off the walls with eagerness to go knock on Joel's door for the kind of help he's talking about here. The magic still freaks her out, whether it's not all bad or not. What Coop wants her to see is that it's not all as black and white as it might seem, which he's sure she gets conceptually, but she needs to see it in action to truly understand it.

Supposed 'good' witches have been known to go dark side, to fall victim to greed or fear or love or whatever it is that keeps someone under the influence of that kind of power. Likewise, 'bad' witches can cast decidedly good spells, depending on the reason. Most of them wouldn't do it unless it benefit them, but Coop doesn't see that too often here. Siren Cove gets all the nutbags, apparently, but at least it makes things slightly easier when it comes to predicting who's causing half the shit.

"It's your decision," he continues, shrugging. "I'm not going to force you to go see him. But he's a good guy, just had a newborn, and he'd do anything to protect the people he loves. Something we can both relate to, I think, isn't it?" He pauses, looking down at his suddenly very interesting slice of pizza before continuing. "I mean, I could go with you to see him. If you wanted. If it freaks you out."

Surprisingly, she finds that she does want to go. It's partially the protection, but she also needs to see it, needs to see good magic in action coming from good people with the aim of protecting others. She needs to see it for herself so that she knows it exists, more than just people telling her that it does. She takes another bite of her pizza and nods. "Okay. I want to go."

Talking about protecting people sets her mind back to what she came here for, and she frowns. "We should be protecting Raleigh." She doesn't know what's going on with her, but whatever it is, somebody needs to help her. Talk to her. It wouldn't feel right coming from Sylvie, who barely knows her. Sending Coop to Raleigh is not something she thought she would ever willingly do, and maybe it twinges at her a little, but her feelings don't matter in this.

"So we'll go. I'll set something up with Joel, probably in a few weeks when their baby is like, old enough to actually be taken out of the house. Sound good?"

He lowers his eyes when she mentions Raleigh again, leaning his weight back on one palm as he tosses his half-eaten slice of pizza back in the box, his appetite briefly lost. "Problem is, I don't know what kind of protection she really needs. And the last time I talked to her, it didn't really end well." It'd ended with them screaming at each other to fuck off, which Coop can't really recall happening with any of his closest friends, and it still makes him cringe to remember it.

Admittedly, he could have told her sooner that they might be better off not going on the date she'd asked him on after all but after so many weeks then months had passed, it'd seemed to have fallen off both their radars. He'd had no idea she'd been harboring such negative feelings toward him this whole time.

"I mean, it obviously won't stop me from trying to help. I can think of a bunch of people off the top of my head who'd want to help set her right if she really does have some magical whammy on her, I just... I don't know. The things she said weren't like her but they still felt like they came from a real place. It was like when people turn into pissy drunks and just say whatever comes to mind."

Maybe she's overreacting. Maybe Raleigh really is just having a shitty week and this whole thing is nothing to do with magic at all. It's not like she knows a lot about it, and she's probably jumping to conclusions. She finishes her slice while she thinks, and shrugs.

"Okay. Well, maybe it isn't magic." After all, if Raleigh and Coop have friends like Joel, it would stand to reason that Raleigh is already somewhat magically protected, right? "Maybe I... réagi de manière excessive." She just wants her friend to be okay. She's hoping she sorts out whatever is going on with her soon, particularly if it's causing problems with her friends.

She almost doesn't want to ask, but she also kind of does. "Why didn't it end well?"

"Non, je ne pense pas que vous avez fait," Coop answers, frowning as he rubs his knuckles against his stubble. "Hell, I don't know what to think anymore, this town can be so fucked up on so many levels but half the time, it does come down to magic. I mean, the only reason she has that dog is because she poofed it out of thin air when that guy showed up with a potion that made everything go haywire. So maybe she's saying things that are rooted in truth, but it's not the Raleigh we know who's saying them. It's like she's been... possessed."

He says the last part like it's a realization, but he'd really rather not freak Sylvie with an explanation that involves possible demonic possession so he quickly brushes past it, making a mental note to get in touch with Joel for more than just a protection spell for Sylvie later.

"As for why it didn't end well, Christ. Remember I told you she asked me on that date? We never went on it. I just-- I don't know, I said yes because it seemed fine at the time but my feelings for her aren't-- I can't--" He struggles to explain it, partly because it seems so strange to talk to Sylvie about something like this, but he tries because she'd asked, and he doesn't want to lie to her. "I just didn't want to create any false expectations, you know? And it's not like I don't think she can handle going on a date without feeling like there could be more there, but I thought maybe it would be better not to risk it at all. So it didn't happen and all these months have gone by, I figured it just wasn't a big deal anymore, but apparently I'm an asshole and totally dickless for not explicitly telling her that the date was off."

He throws his arms up in the air and lets them fall back down at his sides, shaking his head. "I don't know. I apologized but it wasn't enough and then she brought you up and--" Coop rolls his eyes, scrubbing a hand over his face as he lets out an irritated groan. "It was just a thing, we're not going to be braiding each other's hair anytime soon."

She knows him well enough to know when he's trying to hurry onto another subject, and she doesn't miss the way his voice changes when he mentions possession. If he doesn't want to go down that path though, neither does she, so she lets him get away with the brush off. If there is some kind of possession going on here, Sylvie is definitely ill equipped to deal with it, and she can't bear the thought that she's walked into a place where that's an actual honest to god possibility.

Sylvie doesn't know a lot about the kind of guy and the kind of lifestyle Coop has created since they broke up. She's heard it, around town, but she's separate from it, and she's never heard it from him. She can't say she likes it, and she doesn't think it's entirely unreasonable to not be on board with the man she loves sleeping with everyone in Maine, but she also knows it's nothing to do with her anymore. She knows it's not to get back at her, and it's not something she could ever ask him to stop, so mostly she tries not to think about it much. She's pretty sure that Raleigh would want there to be something more, even if she wouldn't expect it, and she can't help but feel a little glad that the date never happened.

Her lips quirk into a smile when he mentions braiding hair, and then as if on a delay she realises he said Raleigh mentioned her. "Me?" It's not completely out of the ordinary if they were discussing Coop's romantic past, she supposes, but it still surprises her.

"You," he confirms, meeting her eyes just for a second before lowering them again. He feels a little awkward talking about it because Raleigh's words have been turning in his mind since he'd walked away from her. He knows they're friends, that they must have talked about him, and Coop isn't about to ask Sylvie what she's said because her private conversations aren't any of his business; but he wonders how much truth had really been behind what Raleigh had said.

"She was telling me that I'm selfish. That I only ever do what's best for me and that I don't give a shit about anyone else." Coop cringes at that because he's never thought that of himself but if that's how he's made her feel than maybe he's not as good a guy as he tries to be. It eats at him a little, no matter how out of sorts Raleigh might be right now, and he's not the type of guy to regularly second-guess himself when all he's tried to do over the years is be honest with people because keeping the secret of what he is from Sylvie had been the very goddamn thing that'd made her leave.

"She said that's why I kept it from you," he continues, his voice low now with an angry edge to it, "like I didn't care about you or how it might affect you, but the reason I didn't tell you until I did is because I cared--" He cuts himself off with another shake of his head. "Look, I know I should have been honest up front, but I was so far removed from home, from anywhere remotely magic-like, that I didn't think. If you ever felt like I didn't tell you because I didn't love you enough or value our relationship enough, just... just know that I'm sorry. I really am."

Sylvie takes a moment to answer, and it's mostly so that he knows she's being honest when she does. She's not saying anything to placate him, this is too close to home to take it lightly. In all honesty it pisses her off a little that Raleigh has the audacity to try and tell Coop off for anything related to Sylvie, particularly as she's never really talked to her about her own feelings for him. Sure he comes up in conversation, how could he not, but they've avoided talking about it in much detail.

"You're not selfish," she starts, because it's the obvious place. She wouldn't love him the way that she does if he was. They still haven't talked about this really, about why she left and what that did to both of them, and maybe it's time. "And I never thought that was why." His love for her was never something she doubted, and she hopes that he never doubted her, though with the way things ended she's sure he must have.

"If you ever felt like I left because I didn't love you enough..." She trails off, returning the sentiment. There's a wry smile on her lips but it's tentative, barely there. "I know this should be four years behind us Shea but it feels like it isn't."

It's rare that Coop gets emotional enough that he actually cries, and he doesn't think he's in any real danger of that here but all the same, he can feel his eyes start to sting at Sylvie's words. She's right--she's always been right, she's always acted as a compass for him in so many ways--that everything between them is still so fresh even though it's four years removed. Their relationship had never reached closure, he hadn't even heard a whisper about her after she'd left. She'd disappeared from his life and the lives of their friends as if she'd never existed, taking the pieces of Coop's heart that had made him whole with her.

But no matter how hard he tries to convince himself that there's no reason to believe anything could ever exist between them again, Coop can't help but hope for it just a little.

"You know," he says, pausing to clear his throat, "I haven't had a significant relationship with anyone since you left. It's not that there wasn't anybody worth it, I just-- I didn't think it could be possible that I'd ever love someone like that again." He hadn't been wrong, he still hasn't met anyone who's inspired what Sylvie had made him feel every day they'd been together. "So I've dated around, nothing ever serious, but it always comes back down to you."

He rubs at the back of his head, letting out a sheepish laugh. "I never doubted that you loved me, but I'm sorry it wasn't enough. I'm sorry that whatever it is that really made you leave, I couldn't be there to help you through it. It's all I wanted, to be there for you, to love you." If he's honest with himself, he still wants that. He thinks he probably always will, in some way or another. "I want you to know that I'm here for you now, okay? For anything. Not just because of our history but because of the present, because I still-- I still care about you, no matter what."

Whatever she came here today expecting, it wasn't this conversation. It's long overdue, she knows, something they have to get out if they ever plan on moving on, with or without each other. This never finished for them, and they never got to say the things they wanted to say.

It kills her that he's so heartfelt about it, so ridiculously nice when she walked out on him. He's talking about never having anyone else, and she gets that, understands it perfectly. She can still remember Etienne's face when he'd asked her if she'd ever be able to really love him, the way he'd packed up his things and left without a word when she couldn't answer. She's never been able to feel that for anyone again, because she never stopped feeling it for Coop.

"I know," she says, and she does. The lengths he's gone to to make her feel safe already tell her that. Sylvie can't help the tear that slips out, and it's a combination of the things he's saying and knowing that it's time to tell him everything. She brushes it away quickly and bites her lip. "My father used to gamble, a lot." He knows this part, she's told him before. "He would sell anything to get out of debt. He sold my piano, he sold all my mother's jewellery... When I was 22, before I knew you, people came asking about him, wanting their money." She shrugs, runs a hand through her hair. "I told you you're not the first witch I've met. They... Used magic on me to make me tell them where he was, to hurt me. I gave them everything I had and then I ran."

She doesn't like thinking about it, remembering it, and she shudders. It feels kind of stupid talking about it now, so far removed, and she's not doing it for any other reason than that he needs to know she loved him more than anything, and that that's not why she left. "Anyway, I used to hear every now and then that they were still watching me. When you told me what you were... I was terrified that they'd find me, that I'd walked into it all over again." She hadn't known how many witches were around back then, just that he was one and so were they, and maybe they knew each other, maybe they'd find her through him.

"I always regretted leaving." She can't look at him, doesn't want to see his face.

The urge to move from his chair to sit down beside her, to brush the tears from her cheeks himself with a gentle swipe of thumb like he might have done when they'd still been together is almost too overwhelming to resist; but it's not his place anymore, he reminds himself. Sylvie isn't his fiancee, she's not his girlfriend, they've only recently started seeing and speaking to each other enough for Coop to finally feel like he can say they're friends, or at least on their way to being friends. They hadn't stayed friends for very long when they'd met, their romantic relationship had started almost right away; but Coop has spent so much time over the last four years trying to forget her that he's realizing now how vital she'd been to his life once.

He's beginning to think that had never really stopped.

"Sylvie," he starts, trailing off after he says her name because he doesn't know what there it to even say. He hadn't known. He hadn't known. If he had, maybe he would have done things so much differently. Maybe he would have told her the truth about his powers from the start or maybe he would have abandoned them altogether and dedicated himself to a life of abstaining from anything related to witchcraft. For her, he would have done that without any questions asked.

"Je suis désolé, chérie. Si je l'avais connu... I would have kept you safe. I will keep you safe now, always, I promise."

She won't look at him, and that's what gets Coop standing. Kneeling at her feet, he brings his hand up to lift her chin, ducking his head to meet her gaze with a small, reassuring smile. "You know, when I first saw you, Christ... C'était le coup de foudre. When you left, I thought I'd never be whole again."

He hadn't been wrong, in a way; he still doesn't think anyone will ever capture his heart the way she had, and Coop doesn't know if there's anything that could exist between them again, if she'd even still want that or what it might mean to admit that he does, but he does know that he can be here for her now. Through the magic that scares her or anything else, he wants to be there.

"But you came back," he continues, his smile widening. "Don't regret that, okay? I would never want you to because having you here will always be better than thinking I'll never see you again."

She doesn't know what would have happened if things had gone differently, but being in this town, seeing the way magic is so much a part of it, a part of these people... She knows she could never ask him to give it up. She never thought that she would be able to understand it but she's starting to, and she can see how much it means to everyone here. It's as much a part of him as anything else.

She should have told him earlier, she thinks. He's not the only one who kept a secret too long. Maybe if she'd come clean when they'd met he could have helped her, kept her safe like he's promising now. She'd always thought he would think her crazy, talking about magic and witches and all the time he knew it better than her.

"Shea," she starts, but she doesn't know how to finish. She wants to thank him, for protecting her, for being so understanding after everything, but she can't get the words out. She remembers the first time she'd met him, the way he'd laughed his way through the unfamiliar French words, trying to talk to her. With the way he speaks now it's almost hard to remember how he'd started out.

"I thought the same." She rubs a hand over her face and takes a breath. "I never was, but it's getting better. Being here."

At first he'd acted like he wanted her straight back on a plane, and she's surprised to hear him say that he wants her here now.

That first night he'd seen her again, for the first time in over four years in the grocery store, the most innocuous place he ever could have imagined seeing her face, Coop's kneejerk reaction had been to get angry. He hadn't been able to wrap his mind around why she'd show up here, to this place that had been entirely free of her because this is his home, his town, and she's the one who'd left in so what right did she have to show up here like that?

It's different now. Something's changed, something he can't quite put his finger on but ultimately, he thinks that what he'd needed the most was time. There'd never really been any closure between them, not when things had ended the way they did, and it's not like he necessarily feels like things are all patched up between them now but at the very least, Coop can understand why she'd left. It hadn't been because she didn't love him or that she didn't want to marry him; she'd been afraid, and he knows how powerful fear can be.

"It shouldn't have taken us this long to talk about it," he says, reaching out to gently grasp her hand. The touch is just a touch, he doesn't want to imply anything or make her feel like she has to react to it a certain way, it's simply meant to be a comforting gesture between two people who are getting to know each other again. "I know it's my fault that it did, but I'm glad it's happened now. I know you came here because of Raleigh, but I-- I just want you to know that no matter what I've felt over the years, you never stopped being important to me."

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this is all totally normal [closed - coop]

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