The first thing she thinks is that she's made a huge mistake in coming here. The way he's looking at her... A mix of anger and betrayal and then this longing that makes her wish she could reverse the last ten years of her life. She'd do anything to go back and do it all over again, maybe to even find Shea without the mess of what happened when she was 22. Anything to do that all again, to have him without the rest of it, to have him without ruining it. She bites her lip; she made this mess and she has to deal with it.
She thinks of the note she left him and she bites down a little harder. She hadn't known what to do. She couldn't tell him she had to run because of what she was scared he could do, of who he could be. So she'd scribbled some stupid words out of a stupid book and run and never looked back because if she had, she wouldn't have been able to stay away. And it was all for nothing anyway, because here she is, looking at him.
"No, I haven't." She owes him so many answers, but it feels ridiculous to give them here, late at night in the middle of a grocery store. She needs at least another three bottles of wine before she can do this. "I came because I had to explain." It's four years too late, she knows that, and even though she knows it's going to piss him off, knows he's going to throw that straight back in her face, she says it anyway because it's true and she deserves whatever he's going to throw at her. "There are some things I didn't know then, that I... Know now." It's not enough, it'll never be enough.
She wants to touch him, but she's scared it will burn her fingers.
no subject
She thinks of the note she left him and she bites down a little harder. She hadn't known what to do. She couldn't tell him she had to run because of what she was scared he could do, of who he could be. So she'd scribbled some stupid words out of a stupid book and run and never looked back because if she had, she wouldn't have been able to stay away. And it was all for nothing anyway, because here she is, looking at him.
"No, I haven't." She owes him so many answers, but it feels ridiculous to give them here, late at night in the middle of a grocery store. She needs at least another three bottles of wine before she can do this. "I came because I had to explain." It's four years too late, she knows that, and even though she knows it's going to piss him off, knows he's going to throw that straight back in her face, she says it anyway because it's true and she deserves whatever he's going to throw at her. "There are some things I didn't know then, that I... Know now." It's not enough, it'll never be enough.
She wants to touch him, but she's scared it will burn her fingers.